Thank You Card Thursday-The After Babies Edition

Dear Perfect Pedicure,
Thank you for trying to cheer me up as I saw the number between your pretty glitter toes. So didn't work. Nice Try Though.

Dear Kehlton and Lylah,
Thank you for coming to earth. Both of you within a year of each other. But seriously? Thirty-five pounds??? Seriously? *sigh*

Dear Bicycle,
Thank you for having the 'It's Like Riding on a Cloud' seat. It is sooooo not like riding on a cloud. You will be hearing from my Lawyer.

Dear Savannah & Rheesah,
Thank you for letting me ride ahead of you on the Bicycles. Weight=Speed Girls. Really, It was easy.

Dear 'Big Mama is on A Diet' Page,
Thank you for always welcoming more content. I didn't miss you. Did you miss me? Well, I am baaaa-aack!

Dear Legs, Breasts, & Thighs,
You have me confused with a Chicken. Not good. Not good at all.

Dear Lylah,
Thank you for the 2:00am feeding. And the 4:00am, 6:00am...
Breastfeeding burns calories, right?

Dear Curtis Stone,
If your going to keep stalking me, please bring your healthy recipe's cookbook. Make sure there are lots of pictures of you, the food.

Thank You Card Thursday

Dear Hospital Nurse,
Thank you for all your help with Lylah Rose's hospital stay. However, I didn't appreciate the way you looked at me when I asked for heavy Narcotics for the Mother. I was serious.

Dear Kaylah,
Thank you for noticing all the Nursing activity at home lately. It is okay to point out Mommies Nursing Tools. It is not okay to point out others. In Public. Very Loudly.

Dear Kehlton,
Thank you for not being jealous of baby Lylah Rose. You are so special. Just remember that she does not like her eyes clawed out with your freakishly sharp boy nails. Okay?


Dear Rheesah,
Special thanks to your digestive track., but seriously sweetie, you don't have to announce something called 'Fart Bubbles'. Do I even want to know what that is? Drink more liquids, -K-Hun?

Dear Mean Commenter,
Thank you for showing me what a big mean grouch you can be! If I weren't such a church goin' lady, I would swear. Your husband is one lucky guy! Be sure to offer him my congratulations!

Dear Lylah,
Thanks for the good laugh when we saw this look on your face when you discovered 'Fart Bubbles' apparently you have more than Rheesah does.

Thank You Card Thursday

Dear Wooden Spoon,
Thank You for your multi-tasking in my house. Who knew you would be so motivating in keeping my children quiet at babies nap time, Making sure they had done their chores, and keeping me sane while stirring dinner all at the same time!




Dear Lylah,
Thank you for blowing out your diaper several times a day worse than Grandpa after a
bad day at Chuck-a-Rama. Your precious, the contents are not.


Dear Dairy Queen,
Thank you. This picture says it all.

Dear Kehlton,
Thank you for creating the Spider Walk. It has saved me from ruined pants, and you from sore knees. Who's my smart boy!?!

...and Special Thanks, Kehlton, for not being a GIRL!!! Yes, I am still celebrating.







Dear Savannah,
Thank you for pointing out that if I bought you a Kid Cuisine, I could get myself a Lean Cuisine and clarifying it by saying that it wasn't because I was fat. Oh so sweet, child. You really know how to sweet talk your Mama!



Dear Rheesah,
Thank you Rheesah for teaching me a valuable lesson. Never play 'Are you smarter than a 5th Grader' with your child. I know your tired of Go Fish, but lets just stick with that.


Dear Kaylah,
Thank you for farting so loud in the store with many people around, then innocently blaming it on me. Like they are really going to believe me when I say, 'Kaylah, you did that! Don't blame me!' Yeah right!

Thank You Thursday

Dear Mel Gibson,
Thank you for showing us that we all crack sometimes. I, just the other day, kicked my kids out of the house and told them to go live somewhere else because they wouldn't do their chores. I told them to go live with the Bishop and his wife because they would take charity on freeloaders.
Yes Mel. We all crack.

Dear Post-Partum Depression,
Thank you for showing me this is NOT the time of my life to make major decisions. I will give it a few more months.

Dear Kaylah,
Thank you for being so good while the nice ER staff stitched up your lip after the 'bathtub with a cup' incident.

Dear Rheesah,
Thank you for feeling so bad about splitting Kaylah's lip wide open! It sure took the Child Abuse speculations away from Mommy!

Dear Savannah,
Thank you for your wonderful help with the 25 pound 14 month old. What am I going to do with you when you go back to school?

Dear Lylah,
Thank you for being so perfect. Try to forget the fact that all the yelling and bossing around of your older sisters will someday be you. Just stay perfect, okay?

Dear Stranger clear across town that avidly reads Craig's List,
Thank you for the brand new bouncer chairs for only $5! You do realize you gave me TWO BRAND NEW bouncer chairs for ONLY $5, right??? Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

Dear Jeremy,
Thank you for not leaving my ornery butt in WalMart after snapping at you and calling you bad names under my breath. When I get all irrational and crazy after having a baby, just remember that it's your fault. Okay, Hun.

Thank You Card Thursday

Dear IHC Hospital Staff,
Thank you for spoiling me for two whole days, letting me sleep all I wanted, and bringing me anything and everything I needed!! But why did you have to send me back to five kids, dishes, laundry, and a sick husband! Cruel. Just Cruel.

Dear Pre-pregnancy Jeans,
Thank you for not shrinking too much while I was away. You will be worn out very soon. I missed you.

Dear Nice Neighbor,
Thank you for finally realizing that I was pregnant After I had the baby. Did I just look really fat to you??

Dear Curtis Stone,
Thank you for your flattering words but cooking for me every night is just inappropriate with my marital status. Please don't harrass me anymore!
A woman can dream...right???

Thank You Card Thursday-The Twilight Edition

Dear Bella,
Thank you for proving that hoodies and back packs are a major turn-on for werewolves and vampires. Totally gonna sport the Jansik gear tomorrow.

Dear Team Edward & Team Jakob Fans,
Thank you for showing me that I need to be 'Team Vomit Boy at the Theater' from New Moon. Sure, he totally got burned, but there is nothing wrong with a college degree, a future home full of kids and mowing the Lawn every Saturday for a normal start to a High School Relationship.

Dear Thirty Five Year Old Woman sitting behind me at the Theater in Eclipse,
Thank you for showing me the inappropriateness of lusting after teenage boys with your 12 year old daughter sitting next to you. Mid-Life Crisis already? I would hate to see you in Disney Movies.

Dear Bella's Dad,
You could be considered hot. I totally change my mind. I am team Charlie, I can dig older guys.

Dear LDS Bookstores (yah, you know who you are),
Thank you for selling the entire Twilight book series at all your locations. Nothing like pre-marital sex, violent fighting, and blood-sucking behaviors to sport next to the Scriptures. Just Sayin!

...and lastly...

Dear Big Mama,
Thank you for staying up until 1:00 in the morning after watching Eclipse to totally trash the series, book, and a few very good and reputable small religious outlets when you secretly thought the movie was slightly more than 'OK'. Good enough to watch once in the theater, but not good enough to ever see again. Slightly hypocritical maybe??? Sheesh Big Mama! Get over it and go to bed!

Thank You Card Thursday

Dear Kaylah,
Thank You for pointing out that my eyebrows match my mustache. Your a darling child...

Thank-You Card Thursday

Dear Mom,
Thank you for putting up with my four crazy screaming kids while I kick up my feet, bask in the sun, and revive my sanity.

Dear Violent Hail Storm,
You flooded my basement and hurt all my flowers. You can kiss it! Although, I do appreciate what you did to the stray dog thats been running adrift and leaving what my four year old thinks are tootsie rolls in my yard. That was funny.

Dear Water Weight,
I hate your stinkin guts! You are sc-uuuummm between my toes, Love Big Mama!

Dear Washing Machine,
Wash, Rinse, and repeat. Not Wash, Retain, and flood. You money greedy pimp!

Thank You Card Thursday

Dear Kaylah,
Thank you for using toilet water to brush your teeth. You have shown me what minty fresh breath really is.

Thank You Card Thursday

Dear Savannah,
Thank you for growing a year older without my permission. You should really be more sensitive about being closer to leaving me. I will take note to have the Prozac on hand for when you leave home.

Dear Kaylah,
Thank you for sprinkling baby powder all over your brothers room. I mean, All Over. Now whenever I walk into his room, it reminds me of diapers and powdered bums. Ah, so sweet!

Dear Server At The Local Restaurant,
Thank you for reminding me that I am a Pregnant Mormon when I tried to order a Margarita with my child's kids meal. However, if the drink comes free with the kids meal, you should specify it is Non-Alcoholic only.

Dear Wonderful Dentist of My Three Children,
Your a God with teeth tools! Thank you for the lot of Balloons, Books, and free kids meal coupons. As a side note, you should tell stressed out parents that take four kids to the dentist at once, that the kids meals are for Non-alcoholic drinks only. It will save from a major scene down the road.

Thank You Card Thursday

Dear Jeremy,

Thank you for buying us the economy sized kitchen bags from Costco that last for months! And special thanks for understanding that it is over 200 trips to the dumpster that your wife will never take. :-)

Dear Kaylah,

Thank you for never going to bed when I ask, then falling asleep in weird positions randomly in the house. Aching, pregnant Mommy loves carrying you down the the flight of steps to your bed. Good thing your and angelic sleeper!

Dear Kehlton,

Thank you for showing Mommy the first smile in three days. There is light at the end of the rainbow! I am so glad your better!

and lastly...

Dear Kehlton,
Thank you for proving to Mommy that she must always change a diaper with her mouth closed!!! E-NUFF Said!! No pictures needed!

Thank You Card Thursday

I don't know if you have ever watched the Jimmy Fallon Show. I watched it just once. Those late night talk shows seem to talk about things I don't appreciate all that much, but the one time I did catch it he was doing his installment Thank You Card Tuesday. I am somewhat of a JF Fan, and it was funny and since I am a big believer in TY Cards, I thought it would be good to apply to my little darling Children. These are taken from actual conversations in our home recently.

Dear Savannah & Rheesah,
I just wanted to Thank You for recreating the flood on the tile floor while playing 'Noah's Ark' in the bathtub the other night. Its a good thing your cute, cuz it saved you from major Mommy anger!

Dear Kaylah,
Thank you for loving the doggy so much. Your so cute, but he does not like it when you spin him in dizzying circles and drop him on the floor. Mommy can go to jail for that, okay sweetie??

Dear Kehlton,
Thank you for being such a good eater I love it when you laugh so hard that you spit food all over Mommies face. Good Times baby boy. I know some day I will miss that.

And Lastly...

Thank you Pops (aka, My Dad) for teaching Rheesah to stick a wet finger in my ear when I am cat-napping on the couch. I will get even.