Dear Bella,
Thank you for proving that hoodies and back packs are a major turn-on for werewolves and vampires. Totally gonna sport the Jansik gear tomorrow.
Dear Team Edward & Team Jakob Fans,
Thank you for showing me that I need to be 'Team Vomit Boy at the Theater' from New Moon. Sure, he totally got burned, but there is nothing wrong with a college degree, a future home full of kids and mowing the Lawn every Saturday for a normal start to a High School Relationship.
Dear Thirty Five Year Old Woman sitting behind me at the Theater in Eclipse,
Thank you for showing me the inappropriateness of lusting after teenage boys with your 12 year old daughter sitting next to you. Mid-Life Crisis already? I would hate to see you in Disney Movies.
Dear Bella's Dad,
You could be considered hot. I totally change my mind. I am team Charlie, I can dig older guys.
Dear LDS Bookstores (yah, you know who you are),
Thank you for selling the entire Twilight book series at all your locations. Nothing like pre-marital sex, violent fighting, and blood-sucking behaviors to sport next to the Scriptures. Just Sayin!
...and lastly...
Dear Big Mama,
Thank you for staying up until 1:00 in the morning after watching Eclipse to totally trash the series, book, and a few very good and reputable small religious outlets when you secretly thought the movie was slightly more than 'OK'. Good enough to watch once in the theater, but not good enough to ever see again. Slightly hypocritical maybe??? Sheesh Big Mama! Get over it and go to bed!
3 comments:
Welcome to Team Charlie. We've been expecting you. No seriously. Mimi (from Living in France) and I made a Team Charlie Facebook page like two weeks ago so we wouldn't have to lust over boys.
Oh how I love you!!!!! :) I won't even watch it in the theater... and between you and me- I haven't seen New Moon! hehe
I laughed a lot when I read this. I haven't seen the movie yet but I am sure I will.
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