And So My Needs Are Great

I have really debated as to weather or not to tell this story, I have gone back and forth about it. This may be long, but so very worthwhile. I hope that I can find the right words as I feel in my heart.
I have been asked to take care of this little guy. He was born 12 days ago. As you can see in the picture, he is on oxygen to help his little lungs and a monitor that alerts me when he stops breathing or when his oxygen levels drop.
I look at this baby, and I question so much. Why? Why someone so small and so helpless? Is no one exempt from trials? Even the most helpless little baby? Does he know that he would be born to this circumstance? Did he want a body so badly that he accepted such a trial this early in his life? Is there no boundaries to the deception and lies and addictions that Satan creates in others that would allow separation to the only person that he should be bonding with right now? Is the work of Satan so powerful that it affects the most innocent and precious earthly spirits? The pain that I feel for him and for his Mom overwhelm me. How is this just and fair? Anger rises within as I try to understand the depth of the situation. Where will he go from here. They won't let me keep him, and I will have to say goodbye. I hear rumors and speculation of orphanages, shelters, but no place really that creates the loving affection that an infant needs. Will he even learn of the love he has for his Father in Heaven that was so powerful that he agreed to this in the first place, or worse yet, will he know of the Love that Heavenly Father has for him?
After much internal questioning and wrestling with thoughts and emotions, I am beginning to feel his faith. What amazing faith to have accepted this mission knowing would happen and knowing that all would be well. Wanting to prove to his Heavenly Father that he could do it, and he would do it!
This little guy, has taught me so much about all the questions that I have expressed. His testimony, so great has been felt through every fiber in my being. I hold him close and let his little head nuzzle in the crook of my neck and I hear him take a big deep breath, which for him is a lot of work. The monitor beeps suggesting a slight elevation in heart rate, as much as I want to comfort him, I realize. He is here to comfort me. He is showing me through the power of the Holy Spirit, the power of his Spirit that all is well. He is on a mission to do what he has been called to do. He does not cry or get easily upset. He is calm, knowing that he came to my home to teach me the diligence of accepting earthly missions, whatever trials it entails, with knowing that it was not about me fixing him, it was about him fixing me. I understand now that faith can move mountains. I thought I was a faithful person before, now I realize that my faith compared to this giant of a spirit in such a little body exceeds mine by far.
How great the Gospel is. Through this baby teaching me, all my fighting thoughts are gone. Peace has settled in and I know that my Father lives. We all accepted our earthly missions and I am reminded to stay steadfast and immovable in the work that I am here to perform. I needed to replace my thoughts of selfishness and self-involvement to the thoughts of knowing that I have promised to dedicate all my time, talents and abilities to the work of building the gospel most importantly to my children, but to all I come in contact with.
It took the work of this little child that can barely breathe without assistance for me to learn and grow.
I hope you enjoyed my learning experience, I am not sure why I felt impressed to leave it here. This little guy will eventually be on his way, but one line in a priesthood blessing to this infant has been fulfilled in my home. "You were sent here on a mission to be an example and a beacon of light to all those around you." He has surely left his mark in our home and we are so grateful.