Checkin Out My Junk

So there was a time awile back I had no confidence. Zero. It was replaced with 270 pounds of junk in the trunk.

Seriously. No. Confidence.

I know what your thinking this is going to be a pep talk about confidence.

Its not.

Well, maybe.

You see, when I realized I needed the confidence, I knew no way of how to get it. Seriously. 270 pounds is a lot of junk in the trunk. No room for confidence in that trunk.

So, I decided if I want to be HOT, or just feel HOT, I needed some mental perspective.

I decided to compare myself to others. When I saw a guy with a girl in my similar junk in the trunk situation, I would smile and say to myself, "He's into BIG BEAUTY, so he must think I am HOT! Because I am BIG BEAUTY!" I conviced myself into believing he was TOTALLY checking me out.

He totally wasn't. But that doesn't matter. It's despite the point.

When I saw a cute skinny chick with a hot dude, I would say to myself, "Dang! He. Is. Cute.!" Then I would tell myself he couldn't have me.

Thats right girls. I had to let him down easy before he started his mental lust with junk in the trunk Big Mama.

Cuz lets face it. I am way too much woman for him.

Literally.

Had to break it to him easy. Couldn't let the skinny cute chick know he was checkin out my junk.

Cuz she'd be totally jealous. Seriously. She didn't have junk like my junk.

I had the realization that I was a whole lotta woman!

Thats right Beyonce! Foxy Cleopatra!

So, eventhough I am still cleaning out the trunk, sorry boys. Gotta go get your junk elsewhere!