Ohhh, I haven't done Memory Monday in a long time. It is much over due.
Yeah, I played soccer in school. I could totally kick!. I wasn't one of those sissy afraid of the ball girls, or afraid of kicking anyone else in the shins. It released a whole lot of anger as an adolescent.
Rheesah decides this past school year that she wants to play. I didn't even suggest it for fear of scaring her away. She was begging me!! I was afraid that she would Sissy out like the other girls I used to kick in the shins, so I made her do soccer ball head-butts before I agreed. I was impressed! However, held my composure.
Okay, so I am signing her up at the city office like signing a athletic scholarship to a major college. Down at the bottom of the sheet, there is a small box with the words, 'Check here if you would like to be a 'Parent Assistant'. Oh what the heck, I thought, "I will bring oranges!" I totally thought about buying myself a Soccer Mom bumper sticker on my way out of the city offices.
I get the letter in the mail a week later. I am reading her roster and game schedule. We were team #4. Happily labeled the Bristol team. This is how the conversation in my head went...
"The Bristol Team...?"
"Why did they name the team after Rheesah?"
"That's weird, do they have another player named Bristol"
"---OH! Wait is says Coach Bristol."
WHAT THE @#&*$!!! I AM THE COACH!!!???
I guess 'Parent Assistant' means 'Coach'. WHY DIDN'T THEY JUST SAY COACH?!?.
Lets recap. Six weeks of soccer, Ten seven year old girls that composed of three to four real players and six to seven Sissy's, and one stupid mom Six months pregnant with a case of oranges sitting in the kitchen. I say to myself,Come on McFly!! THINK!!!
We lost all the games, but we were able to score one goal. Isn't that enough for a scholorship? I have to say however, Rheesah was goalie most of the time, and BOY! Could she Kick!!
Stay tuned in later Mondays for the second part of this story, 'The Assistant Soccer Coach That Always Had To Pee.'
1 comment:
Parent Assistant???? Ohhh they'd have totally tricked me with that one too. Only I have ZERO athletic ability!
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