You ever heard that saying, "Decide what side of the fence your on!"? I can confidently say that I know where it originated from.
This story wins the not so coveted award, 'Most Embarrasing...EVER!'
It was fourth grade. Kickball was all the rage. I was usually picked first for the girls, and after all the boys were picked, and they would have to resort to the girls, first for them as well. I was not that cute in the fourth grade, nor popular, but lets face it, I could kick. Even those bigger fatter beach ball size kick balls I could send pretty far.
For some strange reason, we always played in the corner of the lot where home base was actually against the fence and we would be attempting left feild home runs in every game. The cool thing was if the ball got kicked over the fence as a foul, the fasted, best athelete would be the one over the fence first, throw the ball back in some awesome athletic manner, and then hop back over the six foot fence and quickly assume your playing position. Granted the gate was only down about fifty feet, but climbing the fence was much cooler. Yeah...you know where this is going don't you?
Do you know that boy in the fourth grade that you are technically 'going with'? You know, they liked you, you liked them, but you never held hands, touched, or even talked to that much. Well, despite me thinking I was not that cute or popular, I had one of those 'boyfriends'. Just something for everyone else to talk about so you can feel cool I guess.
Well, someone kicks a foul ball and over the fence it goes. Without hesitation, I run to the fence, swing one leg over and sucessfully make it to the other side and retrive the ball. I felt like superwoman, and the best part was, was that HE was watching. Yeah, I was so cool.
You know those cotton stirrup pants that we used to pull our socks over? Don't laugh, you totally know you wore'em too. Anyway that is what I was wearing the day I decided to come back from the other side of the fence. I get to the top, swing one leg over, no problem. Go to swing the other leg over, and what the heck?? I was stuck. You know those sharp little ( and they are little ) points that are at the top of a chain link fence? Well, my pants got snagged. One leg on one side, the other on the other side.
Blood drains my face as I realize the severity of my predicament. The school bell rings at the precise moment and everyone starts running back to class. Except for Mr Fourth Grade Wonderful whom I hardly talk to. "Please help me, I am stuck!" I tell him. He was kind enough to wait for me and did not realize my problem. Appearantly he was trying to take the relationship to the next level by walking me back to class. Once he realizes that I am stuck, he nervously yells out, "No Way!" and heads back into the class with the others.
Lets recap. School yard empty, street full of cars driving right by me that I can't wave down because I am too busy keeping both hands on the fence so I don't fall, and non-communicative lover boy running away from me with a fear like nothing he has ever felt before.
Well, I finally decided that just ripping my pants and goong to the office to call my mom would be better than sitting on the fence all day. Longer story short, that is what I did. My tears of embarrassment and shame that I gave my parents saved me from the lecture that I knew was coming. I guess being the fourth grader 'On the fence' was punishment enough. And it was.
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